Marriage, long considered a sacred institution, is transforming quietly in the digital age. While vows of fidelity remain central to the concept of wedlock, the realities of modern life — stress, emotional distance, and unmet desires —often push many individuals to seek intimacy outside their marriages. Increasingly, this search is taking place online, with dating apps providing a discreet and convenient
Unmet Urges
Extramarital affairs are not a new phenomenon. For centuries, individuals have strayed from their marital vows for reasons ranging from passion to dissatisfaction. However, the digital age has exposed a deeper truth: many affairs stem from emotional and sexual neglect within marriages.
For women especially, the reasons are multifaceted. Studies show that women often value emotional connection and intimacy as much as physical satisfaction. When these needs go unmet, they may feel undervalued or invisible in their marriages.
This emotional void often leads to dissatisfaction, which apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Ashley Madison are only too ready to address.
Psychologists suggest that these platforms fulfil two key needs: anonymity and accessibility. Unlike traditional affairs that involve logistical and emotional risks, dating apps make it easy to connect with like-minded individuals discreetly.
Digital Desire
Dating apps have normalized a culture of swiping and matching, where immediate gratification often trumps long-term commitment. For someone in a stale or unfulfilling marriage, the idea that there are countless potential partners just a swipe away is intoxicating. This ease of access has blurred the lines of fidelity, allowing individuals to rationalize their actions.
Studies show that there is an increasing use of mainstream apps like Bumble, Ashely Maddsion and Tinder for infidelity. These apps, initially designed for dating or networking, have gradually shifted into spaces where people, especially women, seek out emotional or sexual satisfaction outside their marriages. This phenomenon has been observed in urban areas. Ashley Madison, known for catering to individuals seeking affairs, has significant usage in India.
seek a partner outside their relationship.’’
Legal Labyrinth
India, with its deeply rooted cultural values and a strong emphasis on marriage, extramarital affairs are not just a moral issue — they carry legal consequences. Until 2018, adultery was considered a criminal offence under Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code. While the Supreme Court decriminalized adultery, it remains a valid ground for divorce. While individuals can no longer be punished for cheating, the societal stigma and
legal implications in divorce proceedings act as deterrents.
Advocate Neha Gund at the Delhi High Court explains, ‘’Under Indian law, extramarital affairs can be considered grounds for mental cruelty, which is a reason for divorce under personal law. While adultery itself was decriminalized in 2018, it still plays a crucial role in divorce cases and civil claims, especially when it comes to property division and custody of children.”
Modern Marriage Maze
The rise of extramarital affairs makes one wonder if monogamy is a sustainable ideal. “Discovering an extramarital affair via dating apps can lead to divorce on grounds of cruelty or infidelity, with digital messages serving as key evidence. Family courts in metros report rising cases where dating apps are cited for breaching trust,” says Advocate Neha Gund.
Affairs are not just about fulfilling unmet needs — they’re about rediscovering a part of oneself that feels lost in the routine of daily life. “Trusting somebody back after an affair needs a lot of courage and you need a courageous heart to accept the person back. We should give a chance to our loved ones, provided they are sorry for their mistake,” explains Dr. Neha Mehta, Psychologist and Marriage Expert.
The cultural, legal, and emotional complexities of extramarital affairs in India are unlikely to fade anytime soon. For many extramarital affairs offer a temporary escape from the loneliness and monotony of marriage. For others, they are a way to reclaim a sense of self that feels lost in the demands of everyday life. “Extramarital affairs are getting more common. People are going for social events which expose them to many people. People are sharing numbers and, in a place, where they don’t mind sharing their lives show that they are available. The expectation bar and discussion can go to any extent,’’ warns Dr Mehta.
In India, where marriage is both a legal and cultural cornerstone, the rise of digital infidelity is challenging long-held beliefs. The quiet rebellion of women using dating apps to find intimacy speaks to a larger truth: love and fidelity are no longer black-and-white concepts.
In the digital age, love has become a fluid, multifaceted experience. With their ability to connect strangers at the swipe of a finger, dating apps have opened a Pandora’s box.
For better or worse, love in the shadows has stepped into the spotlight — and it’s here to stay.
Clandestine Affairs
A leaked 2020 report from Ashley Madison’s data breach revealed that New Delhi led the list as the “Adultery Capital” of India, with 38,652 users, followed by Mumbai (33,036), Chennai (16,434), and Kolkata (11,807). Other cities like Hyderabad, Bengaluru, and Ahmedabad also showed considerable numbers of users seeking extramarital relationships.
“Under Indian law, extramarital affairs can be considered grounds for mental cruelty, which is a reason for divorce under personal law.” — Neha Gund, Advocate, Delhi High Court
“Many women in sexless marriages are seeking more than just a physical connection. They want to rediscover a part of themselves that feels lost—passion, excitement, and the freedom to be desired again.”
— Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer, Ashley Madison