Cyberbullying may have even worse effects than traditional bullying, as it can reach victims at any time and place, leaving them feeling constantly unsafe.
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Prajna Paramita Bhaumik, a Delhi resident and the mother of a 13-year-old daughter is concerned. The uproar created by the Netflix show Adolescence—which portrays the story of a Jamie, a 13-year-old accused of killing his classmate—has opened a can of worms for parents like Bhaumik.
Since its release in mid-March, the drama has not only received widespread acclaim but also sparked a debate over the influence of misogynistic online material, male rage and the pervasive problem of cyberbullying. And with the number of active internet users crossing 800 million (according to a report published by Statista in February)—of whom about half are youths, says a national survey—it could be a story waiting to unfold in India.
That the overwhelming unsupervised usage is giving parents sleepless nights is evident from the data generated through a survey by LocalCircles, a community platform and citizen pulse aggregator. The report, published last November, says that one in two urban Indian parents believe their children are addicted to social media, OTT and online gaming platforms, leading to increased aggression and impatience in them. It further says that 66 percent of the surveyed urban Indian parents want the data protection law to require mandatory parental consent for children under 18 to join social media.
Their worry sums up the final episode of Adolescence, where Jamie’s parents (played by Christine Tremarco and Stephen Graham) share an emotional conversation about how they never checked what he was actually up to even though he would often be up late in the night looking at his computer. “We couldn’t do anything about that. All kids are like that these days..,” says Graham, playing Eddie, Jamie’s dad.
A paper authored by Indian research students and submitted to US’s National Library of Medicine (known to be the world’s largest biomedical library) in August 2024 defines cyberbullying as one that takes place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms, and mobile phones, and is on the rise in India. The paper states that, in India, 19.2 percent of children are bullied through social networks and online programmes, while 7.9 percent through electronic video games. The paper further says that India has the highest incidence of internet harassment, with over 33 percent of children reporting having been the victim of it.
Impact of cyberbullying
Psychologist Radhika Bapat reckons cyberbullying may have even worse effects than traditional bullying, as it can reach victims at any time and place, leaving them feeling constantly unsafe. The aftermath of cyberbullying can deeply damage a teenager’s self-image, she adds, leading to a fragile sense of identity. It can also make a child emotionally dysregulated (impulsive, emotionally labile, and vulnerable/sensitive to stress).
Sameer Hinduja, a professor in the School of Criminology and Criminal Justice at Florida Atlantic University, who has conducted thorough research on the topic, says it is known that adolescents targeted via cyberbullying report increased depression, anxiety, loneliness, suicidal behaviour, and somatic symptoms. “The public and permanent nature of online content compounds the psychological impact—when humiliating content is shared on social media or other environments, it can be viewed by hundreds or thousands of peers, which, of course, increases feelings of shame and helplessness,” says the co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center, and faculty associate at the Berkman Klein Center at Harvard University.
In November 2023, 16-year-old Priyanshu Yadav from Madhya Pradesh, who used to express himself on social media by wearing saris and applying makeup, died by suicide after facing relentless mockery and bullying. In states like Kerala too, cases of cyberbullying, especially against the queer community, are so prevalent that members from the community held a demonstration in front of the Secretariat in November 2023 to draw attention to the mounting online violence in Kerala.
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Why does the problem exist?
Hinduja speculates that it’s possible that cyberbullying among young people is often fuelled by the tensions we see in the world around us—like political divisions and prejudices. “Social media can make these issues feel even more intense, encouraging teens to gang up on others who look/act different, or have different views,” he says. By justifying and rationalising an ‘us v/s them’ mentality in adults, platforms tend to provide excuses for the youths to do the same.
What adds to the complexities is a hierarchical relationship between a parent and a child, defined by the latter’s fear for the former. Sometimes, parents tend to use guilt and shame to induce their children to behave in certain ways and abstain from certain perceivably risky but adolescent-normative behaviours. This leads to an unwillingness for teens to seek help from their parents because of the disappointment and shame they will likely cause their parents. “In my work, I’ve encountered numerous cases where teenagers endured months of cyberbullying in silence, with their academic performance and mental health deteriorating, because they feared parental judgment more than the bullying itself,” says Hinduja.
The role of parents and schools
Delhi parent Bhaumik’s daughter goes to a private school, which conducts sessions for children to sensitise them about cyberbullying. But, she feels, the best way to minimise the impact is by creating a space of trust for children. “You can’t stop people from cyberbullying. Rather, we should teach teenagers how to handle such situations. Parents should provide an environment at home in which kids are not afraid to open up,” says Bhaumik.
Bapat, who is also a mother, feels differently. On one hand, open communication can help to a certain extent, but she believes there is “no balance” when it comes to the online world. “My husband and I conduct infrequent, randomised checks of our son’s online activity. This unpredictable checking minimises our constant surveillance while maintaining an element of oversight. We place significant trust in our son, but we recognise the potential risks inherent in the online environment. This way, we stay informed and proactive, mitigating potential harm without compromising our teens’ autonomy.” If possible, Bapat believes in limiting access to social media altogether. “No moderation, just ban it until the children are mature,” she says.
When it comes to schools in India, not just in metros and Tier-I cities, but even in Tier-II and -III cities, schools are paying great attention to sensitising students to cyberbullying through activities like guest lectures, free-flowing sessions among students and teachers and counselling. Seema Pandey, the lead knowledge facilitator at the Lahartara branch of Varanasi’s Sunbeam School, who has close to three decades of experience in teaching teenagers, has seen a drastic shift in the act of bullying over the years. Whereas 10-12 years ago, traditional bullying was more prevalent, the rise of social media among teenagers has shifted the narrative. “I’ve seen kids get harassed on social media, with false messages spread about them. They even get excluded from online friends’ groups and are judged based on their looks and pictures posted on Instagram. It is very concerning,” says Pandey.
To lessen cyberbullying and its impact, Pandey’s school has appointed behavioural counsellors, who conduct awareness workshops and discuss this issue with the students. The school has a Child Protection Policy that addresses cyberbullying, and has implemented ‘Quality Circle Time’ (QCT) where children can discuss any instances of bullying with their teachers. For primary school children, there are display boards highlighting the side-effects of cyberbullying and providing tips on standing up against it.
Another promising initiative is peer-to-peer interaction. Sometimes children can feel more comfortable with their seniors instead of teachers. “These seniors might have also gone through something similar and can lend an empathetic ear,” says Pandey, who feels that not just teachers and students, but parents should also receive regular workshops about cyberbullying. “If teachers are well-trained, and parents are also aware of it, together we can create a safe and secure environment where our teenagers can be easily protected from this menace,” she says.
Ever since the UK-based show garnered millions of views, it has led to discussions in schools, colleges, homes, and even in prime-time news programmes. Lead actor and creator of the show Stephen Graham appeared live on CNN and reflected on how the internet “is parenting our children just as much as we are”. In another interview with Jimmy Fallon, he added, “We’re all accountable—the education system, parenting, the community, the government, and especially social media.” Co-creator Jack Thorne called for a “digital age of consent” in the UK by banning smartphones for under-16s, while many others urged social media giants to regulate algorithm-driven extreme content. Schools across the UK have also decided to introduce anti-misogyny lessons for students following response to the show.
What more can be done?
The Indian government has been working on measures to address the rise of the impact of social media on children. According to the LocalCircles report, The Digital Personal Data Protection (DPDP) Act 2023, passed by Parliament on August 12, 2023, aims to prevent personal data breaches and provides specialised protection for children and persons with disabilities. However, as of November, it is virtually ineffective as the provisions can’t be enforced in the absence of detailed rules. In August, the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) has urged the Ministry of Electronics and Information Technology (MeitY) to implement KYC-based age verification for children under the Digital Personal Data Protection (DPDP) Act. Additionally, the IT ministry conducted a meeting with social media platforms in July to discuss methods for verifying children’s ages.
Bapat feels following Australia’s lead in banning under-16s from social media, India should also hold platforms accountable for child safety and implement strong online protection codes, like those in Ireland and the UK. “We are focussing on parents and schools and putting the onus on children when we should be focussing on bigger fish: Big Tech. They own the risk, they own the fix,” says Bapat. She further adds that issues like cyberbullying stem from a larger societal problem. When one looks at social influencers, ministers, children’s book writers, etc., there are instances of a rise in adult trolling and cyberbullying. “Once adults demonstrate a positive online civic culture, children will follow. Rethinking how we design digital spaces to encourage empathy over engagement at any cost is the need of the hour.” Hinduja agrees, and adds: “We definitely need early conversations about digital citizenship, modelling positive online behaviour, and setting clear boundaries with youth. Parents and educators should initiate ongoing discussions and demonstrate responsible digital habits to foster healthy social media use.”
That it takes a village to raise a child is an old English proverb. Centuries later, it resonates in times where every child is fighting the ills of social media, cyberbullying, and the pressure to conform.